I chose to share my personal essay with my wife.
She enjoyed my description of my moving to Utah as a young man. In the first part of my essay she really liked how I portrayed my love for Iowa and all the people I spent a lot of time with. This helped her to understand even more clearly how I felt when I moved to Utah as I described the changes I experienced in my essay. The connection I established to Iowa through my use of imagery helped her relate to leaving Iowa. She said she could relate to feeling so attached to a residence because she had formed some similar memories in her hometown.
As I read to her some of my first experiences with Utah, she laughed because it was fun for her to see just how different Utah is to someone who isn't from here. She thought I did a great job of setting up the environment I was thrown into upon moving here. The details I provided about the culture that existed at the middle school helped her to understand why I experienced some of the challenges I faced as the new kid.
My wife said the voice I used in my essay was creative and fitting for my essay. She thought it added to the middle school aged experiences. She thought that if someone who was young and in middle school were to read my essay they would most likely be able to relate well. She said the effective use of voice pulls the reader into my shoes within the essay.
Towards the end of my essay I tie my experiences into the Book of Mormon through Lehi and his family's experience moving into the wilderness. My wife thought I could tie this into my story more than I am now. One of the suggestions she had was to add more information about how my brothers in my family may have either helped or hurt my experience as the new kid. She mentioned that this may help me relate to Nephi even more.
Overall, sharing my personal essay and reading it aloud to my wife was a positive experience. I think she learned new things about me and my youth while providing some good feedback for improvement. I would like to share and receive feedback on any future writing I do as well.