Retrieving and Using!

Reading my personal essay to others was such a help when others give feedback. My roommate Jenna was such a help as we talked after about my essay. I noticed that as I was reading my personal essay out loud to her I quickly paused to change a grammatical error I then resumed back to my personal essay. I was able to read it once more with the corrections added. After reading the essay I told her a little more about the story of the essay or subject of the matter I was talking about. She helped with a few of her ideas. I was able to go back and cross out some ideas to make the essay much more intriguing. I really liked when she had complimented on what scripture I had used and tied into the essay. I enjoyed reading aloud to her so much that I decided to ask for even more feedback as I went to my other roommates. I noticed how important it is for me to read my personal essay out loud to learn what to fix. I noticed that as I went from roommate to roommate I gathered such great ideas to add to my essay.

What to change is now held up to me. I was able to gather a bunch of information from my roommates after reading out loud just as a little child would gather Easter Eggs on Easter day.  The most important information I had gathered included going more in depth about the older stories that had made the relationship between my best friend and I so tight. I also noticed involving the scriptural reference throughout the essay instead of jamming it in at the end. I picked up that I need to make each little part or important part more equal instead of again jamming in the exposition and conclusion at the end. I really enjoyed this exercise and how it played a role in improving my personal essay and was so glad to get more input on my essay.