Monday, November 24, 2014
My personal essay
I'm not sure what I think about this project. I feel like I was self promoting by talking about my own experiences but don't know that I could give due justice to interpreting someone else's narrative. I decided for now to introduce my own essay but don't know if it was the best route. Let me know what you think.
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I like how you started with the Book of Mormon, that was something new and needed from my point of view. Although, like you said, it almost felt "self promoting." It wasn't prideful or anything bad, but it might have been better to say, "I took care of this elderly woman," (P.S. I like how you said it changed from getting a paycheck to helping her keep her dignity.) "And I tried to imitate the actions of my heroes from the Book of Mormon as I did so." And then maybe you could say that as you wrote your essay you realized this, and then maybe ask the reader to read and see if you really did reflect what the Stripling Warriors did as the "epitome of selflessness." (I liked that line too.) But it would kind of leave the audience hanging, and curious to know if you really did do selfless things.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insight and advice. I really don't know if I like presenting my own essay or not. If is seemed to the viewer to be self promoting then maybe it's best we steer clear of it.
DeleteThat may have been just me though. You should definitely get other's opinions. I can tell you're being sincere and not self-promoting because I've read your essay. I know you're not boasting who you are and about what you did. But I tried to take it from a fresh point of view, and I may not be completely correct.
DeleteI forgot to say that I really liked the way you incorporated the Book of Mormon though. It would really add curiosity of what this group did that was so selfless, and how it relates to you.
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