**************************************************************************************************************Following
the path and pace set by Elder Rodriguez, I find myself looking often to the
right and to the left, distracted by the sprawling downtown scenery of what will be my new life. Still wide-eyed I redirect my gaze ahead trying to
focus my all on keeping up with my speedy companion who seems to be in perfect harmony with the hustle and bustle of the street cars and high speed
shift and flow of people and vehicles alike intertwining with each other under
the dimly lit avenues. Just this morning I had been on a plane.
Already I was flying through the streets, my gears jamming and struggling
to lift me over rolling hills, my companion far out of earshot to hear me if I
were to suddenly tumble off my borrowed and battered bicycle. My voice would
never reach him I thought as the LA soundscape smothered even the gong-blast
beating of my heart in its urban orchestra. I pray and I pedal harder
than I ever have in my life, as I breath in the exhilarating, new air of my
new home. Somehow I feel someone with me, listening to my unheard
pleadings. I am happy. And so is He.
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I loved your word choice and sentence structure. When you talk about the "hustle and bustle of the street cars and high speed shift and flow of people and vehicles alike intertwingin with each other under dimly lit avenues" I get a sense of a very busy street with many people moving it and out and that it is kind of overwhelming. Especially in that sentence structure. I think you have some really great descriptions and details but I would love to hear more! Characterize your companion a little more. Maybe mention his first words to you, what he looks like, his mannerisms etc. Describe some of the buildings you see, maybe how they relate to your home (as your new home) or are starkly different. Good start!
ReplyDeleteThe imagery behind this post is spectacular! keep it up!
ReplyDeleteIs this really just 200 words??
ReplyDelete