My Lifelong Sing-A-Long

In elementary school I would sit on the swings and sing songs with my friends. As my life shifted and I went through a lot of painful experiences, I went from skipping and singing random songs I would make up on my way home from school, to sobbing my heart out as musicians expressed feelings that I had, but couldn't put into words.

After the death of my grandmother and my dad, we moved across the country. As a shy girl in a new place with people missing from my life, I became overwhelmed with no outlet for my emotions. I would scream at the top of my lungs internally and yet on the outside I just went about my own business. It was unacceptable to show the negative feelings I had within me, so I buried them deep. And true to what is said, once I kept too much inside, I exploded.

Interestingly enough, the first thing that came out were my words. Words poured out from the very depths of my soul. I wrote almost constantly, putting all the pain I had been feeling, but was unable to express, onto paper. From the moment I started, I couldn't stop. Notebooks were filled with lyrics of all kinds. If I couldn't find paper, my arm worked just as well and many pairs of jeans were ruined with the ink of my emotions that I could not hold in. 

It’s been almost ten years since I filled that first notebook and still the lyrics are in me. It’s my way of keeping an emotional journal, and it is amazing to read through the utterly raw emotions and feelings that can be expressed in such a beautiful, simple way.

Additional ideas for "My Mormon Literary Life"

I'd like to give some additional prompts to you as you consider how you might compose your miniature personal essay about your Mormon literary life (see the assignment post, here).

• Journal writing / reading
  How has this shaped your spiritual life? (Even when not writing about religious activities or explicitly about Mormon belief)? Has re-reading your own journal, or reading the journal of a relative, been a reflective and spiritual occasion for you? Have you felt a sense of identity with others who are not you but somehow like you?
• Letters
  As you've composed letters or email messages, or as you have received these, how has this been part of your religious or spiritual life? (Again, even if not directly associated with something like letters to/from missionaries, though that's okay)
• Poetry / Creative Writing
  Such writing need not have anything to do with your religious or spiritual life, but it can. Has this been the case with you -- either in reading poetry or composing it?
• Lyrics
  Do you write lyrics, memorize lyrics, share lyrics? Of course the texts written for hymns are a kind of lyrical poetry, but a lot of people are immersed in contemporary music (whether religious or LDS or not) and attach a lot of personal and emotional significance to such lyrics. Has this been the case with you?
• Reading history (personal, family, or church history; history in general; historical fiction).
  History can be pretty dry stuff and far away from your beliefs or spiritual feelings. But sometimes we connect powerfully with the past by way of a written history (or even historical fiction). Has this been the case for you?
• Plays
  In viewing, acting in, or even writing plays, have you felt connected to others (in the audience, in the cast, or even to the characters portrayed in the play)? Ever been involved in a church-sponsored dramatic activity?
• Social Media
  We don't think of this modern form of communication as literature, and much of it is superficial (or isn't even text-based). But if you've been involved in sharing your beliefs, even in very informal ways among your close online connections, this is a kind of literary experience with your religion. If you blog, have you blogged about your religion?