Explanation for Revision:
I appreciated the feedback I got in the comments of my post
and suggestions from our instruction. One thing he mentioned to me was trying to
make it more intimate instead of observing from afar. Have a bit more
interaction within the experience. So I included a funny little story with the kids
in the street and how it highlighted their happiness with having such little. I
added that, and some other small little changes in the text that tired to make
it more personal, and left all the rich details in there to play off each
other.
As we pass by, all of their eyes
are upon us; kids and some adults’ eyes lit with curiosity while others look on
in bewilderment. “Chinesh” one of them yells, and soon after follows the chorus
of kids like a wild pack of dogs yelling the words Chinesh and Amigo. It always
amuses me that we are mistaken for so many nationalities, predominantly the
Chinese. Their childlike innocence was always in full display on this long,
dusty road. They have never had much in their lives, exhibited by their
appearance and mannerisms. The ragged clothes, or lack there of give little to
no protection to the merciless beating of the sun’s rays on their skin. Like a
bag of bones, they would run, jump, climb, and make toys out of garbage and
admire them as if they had just gotten a new Xbox. Excitement always rises when
we pass by, wearing beaming smiles with their cracked lips. They would always
want fist bumps with the white aliens that would come into their world
everyday, and be so excited like a celebrity had touched their hands. Giving
them attention was like putting them on a stage, and they wanted to show you
how cool they were like they were going for first place at a talent show. Totally
oblivious to the comforts of life, they go about like happy go-lucky kids in a
candy store. Just happy to be alive and happy to have what little that they
could call their own.
This sense of contentment and
happiness rubbed and wore down on me with each step over the past eight months.
How could these people be content and comfortable with such a way of living?
The question ate at me each day as I turned onto that path. Observing the
families and kids go about their daily lives as we walked each day on that road
only amplified that question. Their tiny brick homes, that they probably laid
brick for brick by themselves, was only an outward manifestation of what I
thought was the state of their lives. I
felt such pity for them for not being able to experience the comforts and
privileges that I have lived with my whole entire life. Wasted potential is all
I could think of as I stared at each person that went about their business on
that road.
Finally, one more trip down this
road opened up my eyes that I already thought were open. We
were walking down the street and were talking with some kids and they wanted us
to film them as they did some tricks off this tire. What they would do is get a running start and
then jump off this old tire like it was a trampoline and do tricks off it. Well
these 4 kids quickly turned into 30 kids doing tricks for us, and it was so
funny. One kid did a front flip and biffed it bad and landed flat on his back
with a huge thud like a kid belly flopping into a pool. They had so much
fun, the joy and happiness emanated off them like any other kid on this planet.
It would be hard for them to trade that old tire for the next new Ipad or Frozen doll. On our way back down the
road I saw a family cooking and laughing together as they sat on plastic lawn
chairs in their yard wasn’t anything out of the ordinary that I had already
seen on that road. But within that family, I could see my family doing the
exact same thing but under a few slight different circumstances. Their meal was
nothing more than rice and beans, nothing in comparison to my family’s dinners,
but they were having a special family bonding moment, like many times my family
has experienced. The feelings of tenderness and love were easily exhibited
between each other, forging the bonds of true affection. The companionship and unity transcended the
dismal circumstances surrounding them, and they were truly happy. Their living
conditions were not the shackles that held them captive but actually liberated
them.
They did not have the hindrances that
are designed to constantly entertain a person everyday and tune out everyone
around them. Their lives reflected the desert travels of Nephi’s family, where
all they were left with was the bare minimum. In these circumstances their love
for each other grew and they praised their Creator for everything they had. Whatever
happens and whatever circumstances people experience, happiness is always right
there for the taking. Always available, and always sought after, we are
constantly in the pursuit of happiness. I now miss that forsaken spat of road,
for truly God blessed that broken road.
Wow. I thought this was a great piece. I loved the detail especially at the beginning, but peppered throughout the piece. I thought your use of the Book of Mormon was very good as it just kind of slid in there. It fit, and it was definitely welcomed by what you shared before.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the last paragraph. It brought on questions about my life, and if maybe my life is being hindered. I loved how you brought out the thoughts you had about how they were "missing out." But they were really happy. I want to know what happened to the kid who fell on his back, did he walk it off, laughing?
ReplyDelete