There were also some ideas that Amy had that could refine the topic and help focus it. She was drawn (and repulsed, she wanted to add) by the imagery of my grandma drinking Vanilla Ensure, and said that I could make it more vivid by being more specific about its color (perhaps describing it as off-white or yellowish-white). I found it interesting that she commented on this, because this had been a point that others had focused on when I had read it to them in class as well.
She also indicated that the end of the story brought up a new character-my sister-that could probably be addressed less specifically. Finally, my wife felt that the most important part of the story was my Grandpa, and that I could introduce him sooner and more specifically. At the same time, she liked the light-hearted intro and conclusion, using my Step-Grandma to lighten the mood. Overall, it was very interesting to have a perspective from someone outside of the class, and it was good to see that it resonated with someone, biased though she may be.