The Evolution of the Mormon Novel

Since the early beginnings of the LDS Church, Mormon literature has come a long way. I’m sure that the early members of the Church never expected to see such a huge growth in Mormon literature. In the beginning, it seems that members of the Church wanted to advocate Mormon theology. Novels such as Nephi Anderson’s “Added Upon” were written to explain Mormon doctrine in a new way. Anderson and other early Mormon authors wrote with the larger intent to instruct rather than to simply entertain.

As the years passed though, LDS authors began to realize that their audience wasn’t necessarily looking for another instructional story. Although religious literature can be very beneficial to society, that is only one genre of literature. Many people are looking for good, well-written literature, not just didactic tales but entertaining stories that they can talk about. Mormon authors can greatly enhance any genre by adding good, clean stories that provide more than just an explanation of Mormon doctrine.

There seems to be a difference however between Mormon literature and literature written by Mormons. Mormon literature seems to encompass literature that only members of the Church would come across and read. Stories such as Douglas Thayer’s or Jenny Proctor’s seem to fall into this category. The writing of Mormon literature itself has greatly improved over the years, but there seems to still be a disconnect between author and a wider audience. On the other hand, literature written by Mormons, which is literature not explicitly connected to the LDS faith, has had great success in recent years. Orson Scott Card, Stephanie Meyer, and Obert Skye, to name only a few, have all found a wide readership outside of the Mormon world.

Jer3miah: The Mormon Web Series

The Book of Jer3miah is a web series filmed right in the heart of Provo, Utah. The short three to five minute clips follow the unique, mystical story of Jeremiah, a college freshman. Jeremiah's story is not that of your usual college student though as he becomes involved in a strange and puzzling conspiracy theory.

I have never been an avid watcher of web series, so the way in which this story was told was very different for me. As each episode was very short, it took incredible talent to cram a lot of information in for viewers in just minutes. For example, in the episode where Jeremiah flies to New York and attends his parent's funeral, I was pleasantly surprised to see how well the producers handled it. I thought that a funeral scene could easily take the whole three minutes but then that would have been the entire episode and no one wants to watch a whole episode of just a funeral. There would be no drive to watch the next episode. They, however, handled it well, in a way that is was both artistically pleasing and story-driving.

For me, even though The Book of Jer3miah was interesting and compelling to watch, it wasn't exactly my cup of tea. I had a hard time connecting to this strange mix of mystery and conspiracy theory all bundled up in Mormon doctrine and traditions. I don't know if I was reading too much into it, but as I watched I had flashbacks to reading Orson Scott Card's novel, The Seventh Son, which deals heavily with magic and the mystic and alludes to the story of Joseph Smith. The story of young teenage Jeremiah receiving an object from ancient America and then traveling to NY was just a little confusing and misleading for me.

In general, web series can be an effective method for sharing stories. People these days are looking for instant gratification when it comes to entertainment. If you only have a few minutes for some down time, a web series is a great choice because you get enough of a story to entertain you, but it doesn't require you to sit through an entire movie or a whole book all at once.

Realities of the Book of Mormon: Revised Edition

The Book of Mormon is a sacred book of scripture for many people throughout the world. Its incredible message has brought many people unto Christ and has helped so many find truth in this confusing world full of opinion and opposing views.
I've read the Book of Mormon many times but each time I find new insight to the gospel of Jesus Christ though the struggles and successes of this ancient civilization.
Usually when I read, I try to immediately apply every story to my current life or today's society in general. After all, the Book of Mormon was written for our day, was it not? But recently I re-read the introduction to the Book of Mormon and I realized that this book was written for the Lamanites and the Nephites just as much as it was written for us, if not more so. Since then, I've tried to make my study of the Book of Mormon a little different by first putting things into the context of their situation. I ask myself “What did the author mean by adding this detail or this story?” Then, I would move to thinking about the original intents and feelings of the characters, which has helped me find a much richer interpretation of many classic Book of Mormon stories.

For example, modern readers tend to give Lamen and Lemuel a really bad reputation. We talk about them as “Thee Bad Guys” of the Book of Mormon, which is slightly unfair considering that we only see them through the eyes of Nephi many years after they grew up together, after they had separated from each other. Nephi, as great a guy as he is, is a bit biased as a narrator. Just think about what the family of Lehi was being asked to do. They were asked to leave their comfortable, safe home in Jerusalem and embark on a journey through the wilderness. In this time period, wilderness equated death. There would be little opportunity to find food and water, shelter would consist of a flimsy tent to protect against sandy wind storms, and robbers circled the lesser-traveled areas like vultures. The family also didn't exactly know where they were going or how long it would take to get there. Honestly, Lamen and Lemuel had a lot to complain about. While that doesn't make complaining right, it does help deepen my understanding of why Lehi said he was "exceeding glad" to hear Nephi accept this situation (1 Nephi 3:8). Lehi would have been so relieved to hear that at least someone was going to support him in this trial because this would have been a major trial for Lehi too!
Placing the family of Lehi in their proper context has helped me to recognize the characters of the Book of Mormon as so much more than an ancient people. They have become real to me as I remember that even though they were prophets and did incredible things throughout their lives, they were just people too. They were flawed people with weaknesses and short-comings that they had to work to overcome. As a result, I applaud them that much more for what they did to draw closer to God.

The Climax of Conversion: Alma the Younger

The Book of Mormon covers around a thousand years of the familial and spiritual history of the Nephite people. That is an incredible amount of information! The Book of Mormon has so many little stories all throughout the book that contribute to a larger overall message of bringing people to Christ.

One of my favorite little stories in the Book of Mormon is the story of Alma the Younger, the son of Alma, the former priest to the wicked King Noah. The beginning of Mosiah 27 explains how the people finally began to experience peace for a short time again. Laws and regulations were enforced in order to protect the people of the church from the persecutors. But then the very children of the righteous leaders and protectors of the people begin to create contention and problems among the people. Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah are dead set on destroying the church and the more people that they brought down with them, the better.

Then in the very moment of absolute rebellion, their dark world of lies and sins and filth is shattered by the blinding pure light of God. An angel of God “descended as it were in a cloud; and he spake as it were with a voice of thunder” (Mosiah 27:11). This appearance of the angel was the culminating moment, the climax, of the conversion of Alma the Younger. His whole previous life was leading up to this one moment in time, hurtling him towards the light and goodness of God, even though he probably didn’t realize what it was until it was right in front of his face.

The Book of Mormon is full of little moments of climax and resolution; each one contributing something new as a confirming witness of Jesus Christ.

A Peculiar People

When I think of Mormon poetry, I typically think of traditional poems that worship and praise God, such as those we find in our hymn books. These kinds of poems are safe and authors know that they will be accepted by the general Mormon/Christian audiences. Because of that assumption that I had formed, I was pleasantly surprised to find some poems that explored other topics, topics that are still Mormon in nature but are not discussed as openly among members of the Church.

My favorite poem from this section is entitled "The Excommunicate" by Danny Nelson. Nelson's sarcastic and bored tone fits his topic well as he paints the image of one going to church and being approached by the bishop and other members but not being able to connect to them on the same spiritual level. He uses a very strong diction (one that is full of anger, hunger, confusion) which well exemplifies the attitude of one who is falling away or has fallen away from the Church. The end of the poem quotes a beloved hymn: "Oh Savior, stay this night with me! Behold, tis even'tide." The quote from the hymn surprised me because the overall tone of the poem wasn't one of adoration. But when I went back and listened to the poem again, I heard the words of the hymn and of the poem as a pleading tone, a plea for help and guidance again even if the speaker didn't know that was what they were initially looking for.

Another poem that I enjoyed that followed this vein of untraditionalism was "Bless Our Tacky Chapel" by John Sterling Harris. This poem was a breath of fresh air as it described some unique characteristics of Mormons in a humorous manner, both for members and non-members alike. The poem started by briefly describing some aspects of our usual chapels (the crappy carpet and cheap fixtures), which would help any readers not accustomed to our churches understand the rest of the poem. Then Harris started listing off further descriptions of the most minute details of a chapel- the pulpit, the wood, the cords connecting the microphone and sound systems, etc. But he made it comical by placing the descriptions in the context of a prayer- "Bless the pulpit made of beech..." This made me think of prayers where people bless everything that they possibly can, no matter how small or silly they may seem. Then he ties it all together in the end by describing the "aluminum steeple" that "has no bell." When most people think of churches, they think of stain-glassed windows and bells calling the people to mass. Our churches, however, are as unique in regards to the outward structure as they are to the inward beliefs.

Overall, I enjoyed reading these poems and gaining new insight both to ways in which Mormon poetry can be written stylistically and how unique Mormonism is in itself. 

Realities of the Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon is a sacred book of scripture for many people throughout the world. Its incredible message has brought many people unto Christ and has helped so many find truth in this confusing world full of opinion and opposing views.
I've read the Book of Mormon many times but each time I find new insight to the gospel of Jesus Christ though the struggles and successes of this ancient civilization.
Usually when I read, I try to immediately apply every story to my current life or today's society in general. After all, the Book of Mormon was written for our day, was it not? But recently, I've tried to make my study of the Book of Mormon a little different by first putting things into the context of their situation, the original intents of the author. This book was written for us, but was also written for the people living at the time it was written.
For example, Lamen and Lemuel often get a really bad rap from modern readers. We see them through the eyes of Nephi many years after they grew up together, after they had separated from each other. But think about what they were being asked to do. They were asked to leave their comfortable home and embark on a journey through the wilderness. In this time period, wilderness basically equated death. There would be little opportunity to find food and water, shelter would consist of a tent, and robbers were in plenty. They also didn't exactly know where they were going or how long it would take to get there. Honestly, they had a lot to complain about. While that doesn't make complaining right, it does help deepen my understanding of why Lehi said he was "exceeding glad" to hear Nephi accept this situation (1 Nephi 3:8). Lehi would have been so relieved to hear that at least someone was going to support him in this trial because this would have been a major trial for Lehi too!
Placing the family of Lehi in their proper context has helped me to recognize the characters of the Book of Mormon as so much more than an ancient people. They become real to me as I remember that even though they were prophets and did incredible things throughout their lives, they were just people too. People with weaknesses and short-comings that they had to overcome. And I applaud them that much more for what they did to draw closer to God.

The Unknown Journey

beliefnet.com

Eyelids already closed, her covered head began to droop as well. The journey from Galilee to Bethlehem was one long, dry path consisting of a many day journey. Knowing that they would be gone for several weeks, the couple had prepared well, regardless of their humble circumstances. Great care had been taken to prepare a borrowed donkey and the food and bedding necessary. The husband, Joseph, was constantly amazed at his wife’s diligence and determination. Preparing for a long journey is always a difficult task, but in her current condition, it was nothing short of a miracle that she was able to continue all the way to Bethlehem. Her first-born child would soon be arriving and while they didn’t know how much longer it would be they hoped to at least be in the city upon the child’s arrival.

Her head suddenly snapped up as she jolted awake. Riding atop donkey is not exactly a pleasant task, but her husband wouldn’t allow her to walk any farther. Honestly, she wasn’t sure she could walk at this stage anyways. Every step felt as heavy as lead when she tried to shuffle forward. In the last hour, a sharp pain had begun to pulse throughout her body. When Joseph turned and saw her doubled over in pain, he quickly helped her onto the donkey and began to lead them both towards the city.

As they neared the city, fear gripped her heart. She knew that her time was nearing, but she was so far from her mother and sisters and anyone who could help her. How could she possibly fulfil this alone? The sheer panic of pre-motherhood was enough to keep her thoughts occupied for the entire journey. Keeping a prayer in her heart and a hand resting gently on her stomach, she was led into the unknown. 

Teachings from the Bible

In the Bible, we read only that Christ grew in wisdom and in stature between the age of 12 and when he began his mortal ministry around the age of 30. "The Welcoming Door" is a collection of fictional short stories that take place between these years of Christ's life, explaining what might have happened during this time when the Bible remains silent.

Kenny Kemp, author of "The Welcoming Door," does a fantastic job depicting the culture and life of one living in ancient Jerusalem and the surrounding area. I learned a lot about what it might have been like living in that area during Christ's time. For example, I noticed all throughout the book the complete necessity of having water available for cleaning, cooking, and most importantly, for drinking. Although it wasn't in the novel itself, the way that the characters depended so much on water made me think of the story in the Bible when Christ talks to the woman of the well about the Living Waters. The way the characters were always looking for water in "The Welcoming Door" helped me understand more deeply why the concept of Living Water would have hit so close to home for the woman at the well.

I was a little unsatisfied with the ending of the novel however. For me, the ending seemed too happy and carefree. It was hard to believe that a thief and would-be murderer could have such a quick turn-around and that the robbed and nearly-murdered merchant would be so quick to forgive the fault against him. But then again, with Christ as the main character leading all of the other characters, how could it possibly have ended with a negative message?

Overall, I enjoyed the book and the overall messages it conveys to readers of all religions as it stays in harmony with the teachings of the Bible: there is hope and healing through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, even when we may not exactly deserve it.

I Believe in Second Chances

Jenny Proctor, LDS author, recently published her second novel “Mountains Between Us,” a charming story focusing on relationships and second chances. Eliza, an unmarried LDS woman, moves out to North Carolina in an effort to find a new start to her life. She begins working at a rehabilitation center for struggling teens. Here she meets many interesting people that are also working towards second chances, whether consciously or not. One of her co-workers is Henry Jacobson, who is a divorced LDS father. Over time, Eliza and Henry become friends of circumstance regardless, or perhaps because of, their various family issues.

Through these characters, readers can ponder many aspects of various relationships between man and woman, man and God, and parent and child, to name only a few. Many interesting questions arise from the interactions among the characters, such as what is the best way to handle a rocky relationship between siblings or between a parent and child? Or when do we know it’s time to forgive and move on, if ever?

“Mountains Between Us” is heavily based on Latter Day Saint theology and as such is targeted at a LDS audience. As one who is a member of the LDS faith, I found the little stories of conversion to the Church entertaining and amusing. However, as the novel contains a lot of Mormon information, I would suggest to non-members that meeting with Mormon missionaries would greatly benefit your understanding  and opinion of the novel. Overall, “Mountains Between Us” is a very positive and uplifting novel, focusing on finding the silver lining in every situation and recognizing that there will be a second chance for everybody. Whether in this life or the next, it’ll all work out eventually.

The Reality of Death

Courtesy of Creative Commons

I really enjoyed reading Douglas Thayer's "Will Wonders Never Cease." I wasn't sure what to expect going into the novel, but I was pleasantly surprised. Thayer tells the captivating story of a 15 year old kid who gets trapped in his car during an avalanche. He is very smart and resourceful and works hard to get himself out, but the most interesting part of the account is who he is becoming as a person as he works through the possibility that he might not survive this ordeal.
I think that a turning point for Kyle (and for me as the reader) was when Kyle turned on the radio and heard the announcement of his own memorial service. He had thought before that people couldn't possibly still be searching for him but now that it was confirmed, he really had to decide if he wanted to live or die. Many teens are not faced with such a question at such a young age, but Kyle had had many experiences with death already. As he works to save himself, he thinks about kids at school that have died, his grandparents, and his brother Trace, who passed away from cancer. At various points, the experiences of these other people give him strength but also present various fears. Reading a first hand account of someone so close to death really makes readers take a second look at life and death and what is most important in life.
As his condition gradually grew worse and worse, Kyle continued to think about his mom, Lucille. It was fascinating to me to understand in part the relationship between mothers and sons. Kyle felt that his mother was very restricting and seemed to be constantly butting heads with her. But the longer he remained in his potential grave of ice, the closer he grew to his mother. He came to recognize her as his mother, not just as "Lucille." This drives home the importance of nurturing good relationships while we can. Who knows how much longer each one of us has on this earth?

New Perspectives

I found this assignment difficult, but also really fun. I loved reading different experiences from so many people that are interested in the same topics I have been writing about. One issue that I found though was that as I started researching different blogs along the same lines as my reading was that I was becoming bored. Bored and uninterested with my own topics. That's when I started wondering if I was writing about the right stuff, so I began searching for other topics that might help me decide what I want to write about.
I started with an "I am a Mormon" video of this girl that had cancer when she was 16 and then it came back. It was really interesting and inspiring, but as I started reading her blog, I started to feel like I wanted to leave the issue behind me.
So my next approach was to search out missionary blogs. I found a few that were interesting, but for the most part, they were just letters that people who personally knew the missionaries would want to read.
At this point, I was starting to get frustrated with myself for not being able to stick to a topic. Then I found a link for a blog called the rmtc, which you can find here. http://thermtc.com/
The writing was amateur, but I found it a lot more interesting than anything else so far.
Something that I enjoy about blogging in general is that people can find connections with other people whom they may have never met otherwise. Blogging is great in that people can share longer stories and experiences with a wide variety of people, which is not exactly possible via Facebook or Twitter because of word limits (whether placed by the creators of the site or by social norms).

Demons Among Us

Luisa Perkins's novel Dispirited addresses some interesting topics in relation to death, the spirit, and beliefs on the afterlife.
Something interesting that I noted is how she dealt with the issue of death in her novel. Death tends to be a controversial topic among many people as questions arise, such as "Where will we go after this life?" However, among Mormons, the topic is generally treated very differently. As Mormons, we take comfort in knowing where we will go after this life and we take comfort in knowing that God has a plan for everyone. When it's someone's appointed time to die, we're sad, but we know that it will be okay. This concept is embodied in the character Cathy, who's half-brother, Blake, passes away. At the end of the novel, she takes on the responsibility of comforting the remaining members of her family, much as a member of the Church would do in reminding the family of the plan of salvation.
I really liked Perkins's novel because it made me think more deeply about Mormon theology of death and the spirit world. As I was reading, I started to question things that don't really matter, but are interesting to think about. For example, some of the most important characters to the plot are demons, or Satan's followers. Reading about the demons taking over human bodies in this way made me wonder what role Satan's followers really do play in our lives today. We know from scriptures that they are present among us, but to what extent can they influence us? In reality, this isn't something that is pertinent to our salvation, but it does make us think about gospel principles in new ways.
While I don't feel like her novel is in anyway a comprehensive view on the afterlife, it does present some interesting theories (or space-doctrine, as many like to refer to it as).

The Learning Curve

This assignment turned out to be a bit more challenging than I had anticipated. I found it difficult to get in contact with people that I didn't know very well and to get good solid feedback from them. I tried three different methods of contacting people to review my essays, all with little or no success.

1. The first idea I had was to connect with people that I didn't know at all but that I knew had similar interests in the topics I had written about. Before my mission, I joined a Facebook group called "Many Are Sisters," a kind of sister missionary online support group where potential sisters could post questions about missions and meet other sisters who had served/would serve in their mission. It is a great way to reach out to other sister missionaries. I posted a link to my post about learning a new language on my mission and asked my fellow sisters to comment. Immediately I got several likes and a few comments, but nothing substantial. I learned that you have to ask people specifically, by name, and not just post a general request if you want people to respond. Good thing I decided to try another approach.

2. This time I tried networking through people to find other people with common interests or experiences. Hillary and I looked for people to share each other's posts with. This time I got a response and I really appreciated it. Hillary's sister commented on my post about receiving the news of my brother's cancer. She had had a similar experience and I appreciated what she said about it:

I absolutely agree with everything that's already been said. You have a great way of making me feel like I'm there with you in each of these pieces; but I felt like they all ended rather abruptly. I want to know more! I understand that sometimes writing past this point, especially in the piece about your brother, can be HARD, but it is always worth it to keep moving forward. Lindy (Hillary's sister).

This helped me recognize exactly why I don't want to continue with that blog post, but why it might be good to keep going anyways.

3. As a final attempt to get more feedback, I tried emailing a friend from high school who is a very talented aspiring writer. She has sent me many of her manuscripts of stories that she's tossing around. I have loved exchanging stories with her and getting feedback. Unfortunately, she has thus far been unable to respond.

Even though I didn't get the feedback I was hoping for, I found that I learned a lot from this experience. Next time, I would like to ask specific people specific questions to get a more specific answer (if any of that made sense!).

The Hope of the Prodigal Sons

Courtesy of Creative Commons

James Goldberg's play "Prodigal Son" enraptures audiences in a new spin on the classic Biblical parable. In the Bible, we read of a young man who abandons his father and everything he's been taught in pursuit of selfish pleasures. In Goldberg's play, a young man, Daniel, joins the church that his father left in his youth. Right from the start, the question is presented: Who is the prodigal son? Is it the son that was baptized against the warnings of his father and then abandoned his father for Thailand? Or is it the father that rejected the teachings of his own parents many years before?

A few years after joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Daniel decides he would like to serve a full-time mission for two years. Naturally, his father's reaction is anything but positive. They would have little-to-no opportunity to communicate for two years. In the father's eyes, saying goodbye for two years was akin to saying goodbye at a funeral. As such, for the first part of Daniel's mission, he lacked support from home as his father refused to answer calls and letters. By using common themes of loneliness and longing, this scene connects readers and viewers of every background to Daniel and his father. Nearly everyone has someone that they miss at one point or another, but this play instills hope that all is not lost. Throughout his mission, Daniel hoped that his father would find joy in his life again by returning to the Church of his youth. Likewise, Daniel's father had hope that his son would return to him and that they would be able to resume the friendship they found during Daniel's college years.

"Prodigal Son" may have been written by a Mormon playwright, but the hope depicted by the characters is not limited in who it may reach.

Sharing is Caring

On Sunday, I drove home to Layton to visit my family for a few hours so I shared my three posts about an inner struggle, a scripture, and an experience in nature with my parents while I was there. It was really interesting to share these posts with them. It felt kind of awkward to share the posts in person because they were so personal. I know that they are posted on the Internet, but it's very different to know that people can theoretically read them versus watching people reading them haha. Anyways, it was still a really good experience to have people that I know so well read my work. I didn't give my parents any prep or warning about the topics, so they were pretty surprised to read the story about when I found out that my youngest brother was diagnosed with cancer. They said that the emotion of the stories drew them in and made them want to read more. (My dad actually cried a bit, which is flattering.)

I loved that sharing my stories with my family led us into other discussions. My dad and I talked about our mission experiences and how we both can connect to nature. We also talked about how important it is that we have the courage to share our experiences, and especially our trials, with others so that they can be strengthened during their hard times.

Overall, I think that this was a really good experience. Sharing my stories helped me understand which topics others want to read more about and where I can improve in my writing.

The Dating Files

As the inspiration for this post, I used Chris Clark's "Uncoaching." I really liked the format he used for his essay, with bullet points and section headings. I also liked that he organized his stories as an unofficial advice piece, which is what I tried to re-create in my post.

First off, I need to preface this by saying that I’m no expert. I've just come to realize that I have some experience with the dating scene and from each of these experiences I've learned something about myself and about the male species. I also quite enjoyed delving into my personal journal, re-discovering many of these experiences and I hope that you will enjoy them as well.

PS Names have been changed to prevent potentially awkward moments.

Case #1: The Elusive Co-Worker

o   “Ugh. I do NOT want to get up for work. Wait, I think that HE is working today…” *Cue lightning fast race out of the door.* Am I really that pathetic? Well, yeah. I mean, I’m a cashier at an office supplies store. It’s not like there is really anything exciting happening. Take today for example: “You saved 36 cents on your ream of paper today! Who hoo!” Kill me now. So the only really exciting things are the people that I work with. They are a great bunch. Mostly. But especially Ben. Tall, dark, and handsome has never applied to anyone else so well. I definitely didn’t feel that I deserved his attention, but attention is what I got. We had been working together since fall semester started, but nothing more than some innocent inter-office flirting appeared. It took me receiving a mission call to live in Italy for 18 months to wake him up enough to ask me out in April, only weeks away from entering the MTC. From the outside, it seemed like the perfect night: sushi, a movie, dessert, all in the company of an extremely attractive person. And yet? It fell on deaf ears. Once the mystery was unraveled, the game was over and I was no longer interested in playing. But in every game, there is something to be learned:

·         A) Don’t judge a book by its cover even if the cover can be pretty revealing of the contents

·         B) The forbidden fruit always seems the sweetest, but that can also mean it’s too ripe and won’t last very long

·         Case #2: The Modern Day Romeo 

o   One bright fall Sunday afternoon, I thought I would adventure over to the local single’s ward event. Once a month, the ward holds an event lovingly dubbed “break the fast,” where you can complete your religious duty of going without food and water and search out for an eternal companion simultaneously.  Needless to say, I met a potential at said event. His sparkling blue eyes and wavy blonde locks caught my eye over the hideous orange cooler filled with water. Over the course of the next five days, we played The Game. Unfortunately, it was a short-lived game, as he had to return to the far-away land of Idaho to attend the university. In summary, we met Sunday, had a fake spontaneous date Monday, hung out on Tuesday, texted Wednesday a bit, and said good-bye Thursday, thus my modern-day Romeo. Although this experience was far from important or life-changing, I learned a lot:

·         A) Sometimes ward activities actually are helpful in finding potentials

·         B) Things, such as cars and boys, move really fast in Provo

·         C) Romeo and Juliet is a ridiculous story

Remind Me

Man, I’m super tired today. I just got home from work so I’m starving and just want to wear pajamas. I don’t care that it’s only 6:30 on a Saturday night. Sometimes you just need a night in. Especially after a long day spent wholly in a skirt. This morning I went to the temple with some people from my ward. It was so awesome to go with people again. My schedule is kind of weird and changes all the time so I usually just go by myself, which is also a really good experience, just different.

Anyways, then I had work at the MTC at one so I came home and ate and then went right back up to 9^th East. I feel like I spend a lot of time there... haha oh well. The missionaries were getting really tired by the end of class, so I think that’s partly why I feel so tired now. We did weekly planning today and it was pretty boring even as the teacher, which you know is a problem. Sometimes it’s so surreal to be back in the MTC. I find myself reminiscing everyday back to my life less than two years ago. It’s the same ‘70’s style brick walls with equally old, distasteful carpet. The same flimsy desks with “tables” that only hold half of one notebook. The same tension in the air when the teacher throws out something new in Italian and nobody gets it. It seems like the only difference is… well, me. Now I’m on the other side. I’m the “experienced” one, the one who made it all the way to the mission field and back. I’m the teacher that throws out the Italian like nobody’s business. (Well, at least I try haha. I’m still learning!) Watching these missionaries, I remember how hard it was to learn a new language. I remember how awkward it was to stop someone on the street and ask them in broken, halting Italian if they would listen to a message about Jesus. I remember thinking on Saturday nights that all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and throw the blanket over my head. I remember how the four brick walls seemed to get closer and closer together the more time I spent between them. I remember my companion scratching tick marks in the gray cement between the bricks to mark each day in our “prison.” Remembering it like that makes me wonder why I ever enjoyed those six weeks there and why on earth I would want to go back.

But then I really remember. I remember friendly smiles and encouraging words. I remember giggling over rookie mistakes. I remember the distinct smell of cheap hand soap. I remember the warm biscuits and gravy that I always craved. I remember the sound of a million voices singing together. I remember the incredible spirit that followed us everywhere.

That is why I wanted to go back. That is why I am so lucky that I can go back five times a week. Even though my role has changed, their role is the same. There is just something different there, something unique that you can’t find anywhere else. And even though I’m totally wiped out and just want to crash at the end of each day, it’s totally worth it. I just love seeing the missionaries faces light up when they realize that they are doing the Lord’s work. I can’t believe how much I just adore and love these wonderful missionaries that have decided to sacrifice this time for God. There is nothing more beautiful to me than that.

Little Moments

Inner Struggle: Finding Courage

I stared at the woman as she chattered on in a one-sided conversation. There were three of us seated at the small round table, but my companion and I didn't have much to offer in making small talk. Panic rose in my chest as I realized the woman had asked us a question. Please, please respond to her. I pleaded silently to my companion, hoping she had understood the question. Instead, my companion turned to me with a questioning look in her eyes. Oh no. I felt my mouth start to open. "Um, come?" My dry throat made my voice sound like I'd swallowed cellophane.

Instead of repeating the question, the woman slapped the table with a loud crack!, making both of us jump. Then she started laughing like she'd heard the world's greatest joke.

"Non avete capito niente!" ("You haven't understood anything!") she cackled in amusement.

She sure hit the nail on the head. When will this language stop sounding like Chinese?? As I sat there praying for a response, sudden courage filled my heart. It's okay, sister. She's just a member of the Church and she understands how hard this is. Just speak!

I swallowed hard and tried again. "Mi dispiace. Come?"

Maybe I still wouldn't understand her question today, but I knew that it would make sense one day. God needed me to learn this language to help His children and I wasn't going to give up so soon.

Going Deeper

Photo courtesy of forumespirita.net (found through creative commons)

I quite enjoyed reading the personal essays from past students. Many of the students picked major life-changing events to write about, such as loss of loved ones, abuse, or serving a mission. These major events in our lives, whether they are positive or negative experiences, shape us into who we are today. It's interesting to see the impact a single event has made on us, but often we don't realize how much so until we re-experience it through writing or sharing the experience.

I believe it's so important for us to share what we learn from our experiences, but it can be really uncomfortable or awkward to do so. That is why writing can be such a great tool in sharing our experiences. As I watched the videos, I noticed that several students seemed to feel awkward, which was perhaps due to being camera-shy, but the subject of their topic could also have made them feel hesitant in sharing. I particularly liked one girl's video and essay, where she talked about attending the funerals of her grandmother and father only nine days apart. In her video, she explained that her essay contained a lot of raw emotion. In reading her essay, I found the raw emotion everywhere, but it was also interesting to note that the event occurred roughly 10 years ago. I think that writing her experience out helped her understand herself a little better, even though it wasn't a new experience. It felt very real to me and it is amazing how much readers can connect to authors that they have never met as they share times of growth.

Many of the personal essays took a story format, which I found very engaging. The essays that were more hypothetical ideas or not a specific story were harder to connect to, perhaps because they lacked imagery and the deep emotion of a personal experience that is often hidden under the surface. I found that the video introductions supported the essays by making them feel more personal, like a friend that wants to tell you a story that is very important to you. As for my personal essay, I would like to make sure that I can connect it to a larger audience. A personal essay should be inspiring and help people to want to experience things on a deeper level.

An Old Book is Like a Friend

I stood in awe, staring at row after row of books. My fingers brushed over the worn edges of each used title. Harry Potter e la pietra filosofale, Jane Eyre, Le fiabe grimm. Some of the titles were the same, while others bore their equivalent in Italian. Never before had I been so star-struck standing in a bookstore as I was that day.
Regardless of my adoration for literature, it had been months since I had picked up a novel. I was serving a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and as a result, I had chosen to leave such passions behind me for 18 months. But it wasn't easy.
My companion and I had been walking down the street when this ancient bookstore caught my eye. We wandered in and found the most adorable mini-replica of the Beast's library from Beauty and the Beast. Old, loved books lined the walls from top to bottom, stacked so high it required a ladder to reach them all. In that moment, standing in an old bookstore in Italy, I realized how deeply literature had touched me throughout my life. In a moment when I couldn't read for pleasure, I recognized how my books had changed me over the years and made me who I am today.

Sample of my personal baby library (it's growing!)

Spiritual-literary experiences:

• Listening to my daddy read his favorite childhood book, The Great Brain by John D Fiztgerald aloud to me and my siblings
• Writing letters to family and friends
• Listening to Josh Turner's song Me and God 
• Reading inspirational quotes on pinterest
• Writing about my brother's experience with cancer
• Discussing books with my parents
• Receiving a treasured antic book from my grandma every year for Christmas
• Discovering the deep insight in Crime and Punishment in a high school English class