1. My sister Meleah. She also works at the same elementary school as me and knows the children that I work with. She will help me pick the correct word choice so that I can communicate to the reader the correct way.2. My friend Olivia. We haven't talked since the last day of high school and I think this essay would help us to reconnect. She was also an amazing writer in high school and could help me work on organizing my essay better.
3. My friend Cai. Cai is an English major at BYU and is an amazing writer! She always proof reads my papers for me and usually gives me some helpful insight about word choice, grammar, and what to do with awkward areas.
4. The kindergarten teacher I work with, Mrs. Smith. She knows Herber better than I do because she spends much more time with him than I do. She would be able to make sure that I have portrayed Herber correctly and help me set the scene a little better.
5. My Instagram followers. A lot of my friends have been posting pictures about their testimony and my non-member friends have loved them! I think that talking about Mormonism not as directly as my friends do will help them to see that we are not crazy religious people like my friends think that most of us are.
6. My former teacher Ms. Murphy. She taught English to me for two years in high school and we have remained close. She usually helps me with my grammar in papers, but I would like some insight from her about how she views me bringing Mormonism into my paper because she isn't mormon. I think having a non-member friend go over my essay will ensure that the gospel portion of my essay makes sense.
7. My friend Charles. We have been dating back and forth and has come visited me at the elementary school before. He knows the children, but doesn't know them very well. He hears me talk about them often and knows how much I love each of them. Having Charles read my essay will help me to ensure that I am being real in my essay. He knows my feelings towards the kids so he should be able to tell if I am showing that love through my paper.
8. A lady in my family ward, Sister Huish. Sister Huish donates money to the elementary school so that we can buy shoes, socks, and underwear for the children. She only hears stories about the children when they have received their shoes and doesn't here about the children much beside then. Hearing this story will help her to understand why she sends money to children that she doesn't even know.
I love how you are including a non-member friend to make sure the gospel part makes sense. It makes sense to us, because we understand the gospel and what you're trying to say. But getting an outsider's view is a great idea.
ReplyDeleteI also love how you're including people who know the kids you are talking about. By doing this, you can get their perspectives of Herbert as well, and maybe describe him (or his personality) a little better. It could help the reader like him more. I think your choice of people is an awesome list, and I wish you the best of luck!