I have a very close friend who I go to anytime I need inspiration in my writing. She’s an exceptionally perceptive person, a strong critic, a helpful editor, and I trust her taste on all things literary. She is, more than anyone else I am lucky enough to associate with, my muse.
For the sharing assignment, though, I went to her sister. I asked her to read my imitation essay, “Falcon,” and tell me her thoughts on it: what she liked, what she didn’t, and ways she thought I could improve the piece.
After reading it, she sent me this text message:
Okay well I really like the concept—I went and read the original scripture from Alma. I think the falcon was a good choice. My only issue is that sometimes the Biblical phrasing and the contemporary ideas (like libraries, skyscrapers, photographs) didn’t mesh well. Parts of it read awkwardly. But overall, I enjoyed it!
I really appreciate Tess’s comments. She immediately identified what I had not noticed, but what had been bothering me about the piece: moments of “awkwardness,” when the image and the language don’t quite seem to match up. She also validated what I hoped people would like in reading it, that thematically, Alma 29 and my imitation have a nice counterpoint, and that the falcon is a stirring image.