Sunday, February 8, 2015

Comments on "Falcon"

I have a very close friend who I go to anytime I need inspiration in my writing. She’s an exceptionally perceptive person, a strong critic, a helpful editor, and I trust her taste on all things literary. She is, more than anyone else I am lucky enough to associate with, my muse.
          For the sharing assignment, though, I went to her sister. I asked her to read my imitation essay, “Falcon,” and tell me her thoughts on it: what she liked, what she didn’t, and ways she thought I could improve the piece.
          After reading it, she sent me this text message:
Okay well I really like the concept—I went and read the original scripture from Alma. I think the falcon was a good choice. My only issue is that sometimes the Biblical phrasing and the contemporary ideas (like libraries, skyscrapers, photographs) didn’t mesh well. Parts of it read awkwardly. But overall, I enjoyed it!

          I really appreciate Tess’s comments. She immediately identified what I had not noticed, but what had been bothering me about the piece: moments of “awkwardness,” when the image and the language don’t quite seem to match up. She also validated what I hoped people would like in reading it, that thematically, Alma 29 and my imitation have a nice counterpoint, and that the falcon is a stirring image.


  1. It's interesting how language and imagery are so connected. You don't realize how strong that connection is until a combination of the two doesn't fit. I didn't notice it either until you pointed it out in this post, but I agree with the feedback you received.

  2. I love getting feedback--positive and negative--from my family members who write. One one hand, they know what they're talking about because of their literary backgrounds and will therefore have positive things to say. On the other hand, they're not afraid to give me negative comments or advice because we're family and will love each other no matter what. It sounds like your sister knows what she's talking about, so I'm glad you got to hear from her about your post.