My Lifelong Sing-A-Long

In elementary school I would sit on the swings and sing songs with my friends. As my life shifted and I went through a lot of painful experiences, I went from skipping and singing random songs I would make up on my way home from school, to sobbing my heart out as musicians expressed feelings that I had, but couldn't put into words.

After the death of my grandmother and my dad, we moved across the country. As a shy girl in a new place with people missing from my life, I became overwhelmed with no outlet for my emotions. I would scream at the top of my lungs internally and yet on the outside I just went about my own business. It was unacceptable to show the negative feelings I had within me, so I buried them deep. And true to what is said, once I kept too much inside, I exploded.

Interestingly enough, the first thing that came out were my words. Words poured out from the very depths of my soul. I wrote almost constantly, putting all the pain I had been feeling, but was unable to express, onto paper. From the moment I started, I couldn't stop. Notebooks were filled with lyrics of all kinds. If I couldn't find paper, my arm worked just as well and many pairs of jeans were ruined with the ink of my emotions that I could not hold in. 

It’s been almost ten years since I filled that first notebook and still the lyrics are in me. It’s my way of keeping an emotional journal, and it is amazing to read through the utterly raw emotions and feelings that can be expressed in such a beautiful, simple way.