Raw Material for a Personal Essay

1. Physical Experience

(First day to the end of the first day)

The gym full of tired, exhausted sweaty smells, each face looks as if they are on the last straw and about to give up. There individual smiles are gone and the flush cheeks are the only lasting…(can’t think what word)…… there. The noise of the irritating instructor’s voice is introducing a migraine or massive head ache to the heads of each performer. The blue flooring grasping your attention to keep going yet your eyes begin to sink to the back of your heads and shut down from exhaustion.

(The middle)

The pleasant clean hotel room is intoxicated more and more as the sadness of my younger sister’s illness progressed. The room is dark with changes of the temperature to hot then cold continuously. The longer she is there the more the aura of the room feels sad, blue, and discouraging.  

(The end of camp)

My mom, frantically running in from a 4 hour drive to get to my intoxicated room, with Laura (sister) jailed in by the illness and the coaches keeping her (Laura) captive.

Laura (sister) not able to answer the door or get out of bed or hear is hopelessly waiting for someone to come for her rescue

Banging slashing at the door with one employee of the hotel coming as if it was superman coming around the corner to the rescue.

An ambulance rushing for her and my family was off without me.

Now I was the one stuck with the aura of the disheartening room and the disgust of my own coaches.

2. Scenes

Walls full of titles yet showing the ugly cream colored cinderblocks

4 gyms put together 4 large soft blue mats covered in sweat with the texture of some sort of scratchy carpet

A stage for the instructors as large as half a mat or 18 feet long for every teammate to see

Spaces in between the mats for coaches from all the teams to watch for progress

The entry way is the original basketball wooden floor with Gatorade chews and Gatorade for in between breaks

Gym filled with 8 large teams of 25 or larger with each girl competing to do her best in this camp for the summer

3. Speech

The instructor’s voice at this camp was sharp, quick and hard to keep up with. As he counts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight constantly as he teaches with his sharp tone each move.

The coaches of the other teams in tune with each of their players coaching with vigorous and almost frightening voices to make them better.

My coaches in the corner are gossiping sounding like two little mice eating their own cheese.

The teammates all on the floor annoyed with each other commenting back and forth over there frustration.

4. Emotion in the moment

My team had made it to the camp each of us leaping for joy and excited as we get all checked in to the rooms.

We hit the giant gym and see that there are far better athletes there. Our great feelings rushed out and our real journey with the team began.

My coaches and I never had seen eye to eye yet I had become captain, the fear crept into me that my teammates and I thinking we could not do this. We walked slowly and glumly to the group of everyone getting ready to introduce us “the Wolves”.  Our emotion was gloomy thinking that we should go back and start the bus.

My coaches stay in the corner like cowards as if they acted they weren’t even part of the team.

My sister (Laura) letting me know every so often that she isn’t doing well and each time her reaction became less happy and more groggy. She was not doing well.

The emotion of the team seeing that she had to leave and go to our room to take a break frightened us. We did not think we had it in us to go through this camp.

Time went on and gossip over ruled leaving Laura feeling like an outcast of the group.

My attitude towards the other girls there changed to a sweet captain to their nightmare. I noticed that they said personal things and I did not let that happen.

I abruptly spoke with two girls that had started the gossip up after a scene with my mom had come and gone.

The coach with a disgusted face had me ride along in the extra car with her. The silence of each other made it feel more prevalent of how deeply we despised each other or that I had despised her.

5. People of Consequence

Coaches: uncaring of the team, each with their glitter shirts and hair sprayed hair perfectly done almost as if they were there to impress the opposite gender.

Teammates: not united, scared of what was to come, apathetic over each other

Laura: Happy, Ready to go, the star of the team, Best tumbler, sweetest one, the girl who kept the team together

Mom: Always ready, doesn’t always believe others, helps in any w