Saturday, January 17, 2015

Finding Myself

     I have found out, throughout the course of my very short life, that sometimes we can forget ourselves. We forget ourselves when we abandon the dreams, the desires of our hearts, the fantasies and aspirations we used to hold so dear as children. I don’t think it’s something that is done on purpose, it’s just that in the routine of life, sometimes dreams get lost, and with them, a part of ourselves gets lost as well. But getting lost is not the worst thing that could happen, because you can always find yourself again, and the manner in which you do is different for each one. Mine, came through a story.
     “Y colorin colorado, este cuento aun no se ha acabado.” I read this beautiful, short novel in Spanish written by Odin Dupeyron when I was younger and had in a sense, lost myself. In English, it translates to: “And this story has not yet ended.” One day, my mom handed me this book and told me to read it, that I needed it. She was right. The story helped me to, in a way, find myself again. It helped me remember the girl I wanted to and aspired to be. “Forgive me if I have left you alone. Forgive me if I have forgotten you…but you will no longer be alone, my little girl, because I will be with you. We have many dreams ahead to fulfill my dear, and this time, I promise, I really promise that I will fulfill them for you.” These words, meant as a promise from the present older girl to the younger self, are what really inspired me to find myself again and retake my abandoned dreams.

Other spiritual-literary experiences:
- Reading my past journal entries; all the heartaches and pains and to realize that I’ve grown so much since then
- Reading letters that I wrote to myself starting from the 8th grade up until before leaving for college with really inspiring messages to myself that were just what I needed to hear
- Reading the letters my mom wrote to me when I was younger, telling me not to abandon my talent and passion for writing and other really inspiring words I needed to hear that meant a lot coming from her
- Writing a mission statement for my life in a student development class here at BYU (my goals, purpose in life) and re-reading that every once in a while (really helps to maintain perspective and remember what life is really about)
- When I read the beloved Anne of Green Gables. I love that book and as a young girl, I loved to just sit there and mull over the words that I found in that book and it’s a good inspiring book to have when you’re young            



  1. I have also loved re-reading my journal entries. It's so interesting to see what I was thinking back in the moment. That's why I also loved that you said you had written letters to yourself from 8th grade up. I'm interested to hear more about that. What made you decide to do it? Was it one letter or multiple letters?

  2. I love your opening idea of being able to find and forget yourself over the course of a life. Reading has been like a spiritual mirror for me throughout my life to provide the opportunity for self-examination.