Physical Experience
(Grandma’s Farm near Ashton, Idaho)
-The smell of rain falling on a dirt driveway
-Willow branches rustling in the wind with light sound from a
wind chime
-The red transparent hummingbird feeder hanging from the
disfigured willow that hung over the front yard
-The sour/bitter taste of the wild “peas” that lined the
garage wall
-The smell of the Car AC that’s not quite cool enough,
coupled with the smell of the sweaty sock and red vines
-the smell of Shotgun cartridges that cluttered fluffy/sandy
dirt driveway
-The sight of the Teton Mountains on a late summer afternoon.
The clouds scattered in the sky, allowing light to push through and bring out
majestic shapes and textures of the clouds.
-The rolling and curving road, the sharp gravel and the hot
sands of the dunes
-the squeaking of the cattle ramp leading up towards the
front door.
-(The House) the musty smell of the potato seller, the
scratchy green couch, the ice cold well water that poured authentically from
the faucet like a hose or stream.
-The sand creek bed on my feet, the green algae and volcanic
rock that cluttered the creek bed.
-The
taste of Grandma's mac’n Cheese with extra pepper. ‘Hot cakes’ that were cooked
in bacon grease that left a delicious almost crunch. Hot maple syrup was pored
over the pancakes that needed no butter.
Scenes
My cousin Kody and I sat on the hard multicolored rug of the
dusty farm house floor. We sat playing with the small plastic fences, bulls,
and cows that came with some sort of farming toy set. Grandpa came in, and stood
in the doorway. With a sad complex but minimal visible emotion, he mentions in
some form that Grandma Bowman (my great grandma and his mother) was dead. He
walks onward towards the kitchen away from view. The innocence of childhood
toys with my cousin seemed to disappear. Mom cried in a way I have never seen. She
cried loudly and painfully, making me confused and feeling awkward. I did not
know my Great Grandmother well. Showing emotion to that magnitude was a
confusing thing for me that I tried to avoid. Feelings I didn’t understand were
pushed to the side, the adventure of grandma’s farm with the sand creek, splintery
old barn, half standing coral, rolling sand dunes, and the distant tree line
caught my intrigue. The Tetons stood just outside the door across from the expansive
fields of hay and potato. Though more than 40 miles away, they seemed just a
few miles. Kody joined me in my love for adventure. With birthday’s just days
apart, we shared the same gifts. Matching boomerangs, matching slingshots,
matching red old navy ‘lifeguard’ tank tops.
Speech
Grandma and Grandpa
spoke with a snip and a snap like language. Never much to say. Never the
rambling type, but each word with strength and directness. After a few short
weeks at grandmas, it was time to make the long road trip home to Chicago. With
just my family and Grandma, she offered a kneeling prayer as we went our way. She
studded over her few words and held in emotions as much as she could. It was the
only time I saw emotion from Grandma May. She wept. Being young I wondered why.
I knew we would be leaving, only to return in one years’ time. Grandpa was
quick to cuss at us cousins in a snippy but rough way. I was not accustomed to
that kind of voice in Chicago from my dad, but I enjoyed the authentic
roughness that I thought should accompany his old rancher figure. My uncles
were similar but more load, vulgar, and forward. With every word came a pinch
or punch. They spoke in a way that made me want to seek their approval but I
never thought badly of them despite possible mistreatment.
Emotion in the Moment
Grandma’s house
brought the emotion of freedom and adventure trickled with subconscious
feelings of appreciation and love for family. With growing up in a suburb of
Chicago Illinois, I felt that my Idaho heritage separated me from my acquaintances
and friends back at home. I felt pride for my mountain west heritage and missed
the raw west atmosphere that did not exist in suburban Chicago. My large
extended family was there and their raw authentic nature made me proud of them.
They seemed tougher than everyone I knew back at home.
People of Consequence
Grandma May- Grandma
was the quiet and authoritative power in the house. She seemed to always be
behind the kitchen counter preparing something for the grandkids to eat. Smiles
did not come easy on her face but there wasn’t much doubt that she would meet
my requests of food.
Grandpa Lynn- A quite
man that sat in his chair, read books, and on request, would play his century old
guitar or banjo. He would sing and yodel to old cowboy tunes and yodeled. He is
missing half of his thumb from a chainsaw accident he had in the woods when he
was a young father. Thick Hands. Missing teeth. Thick build with a large belly.
Kody- was living and grew
up around Las Vegas. He shared my passion for the Farm. He would endorse of
adventures and we would rant about adventures we could have encountering Indians,
wild animals, dark forests, dunes, and mountains.
Trudy- My mother.
This was her home. She grew up in Ashton Idaho and I saw her personality change
as she returned. I could see she acted different there. She talked more openly
than she did with those in Chicago.
