"It's a good day to be good"

 The door opened and I couldn't quite see what all the hubbub was about. The walls were brown, the amphitheater style seating was a bit steeper than I had anticipated. Gold pipes with shiny noses poking out above more brown, the framing of the organ, it seemed like a normal choir room. The students shuffling in, each with their different shape and size. I sat in the back with the rest of my class ready for this excursion to show its true colors. My high school self was sitting there trying to grasp the idea that this would be me one day soon. I had just got dumped 2 weeks prior and the wound was still fresh. I sat, quiet, in the back of that auditorium next to Alex, one of my closest friends. A boy sat on my other side. Alex introduced him to me. His mess of brown curls bounced as he sat down his deep dark freckles and a voice higher than any bass I had ever met. This was Garian. The three of us talked, laughed and caused entirely too much ruckus in the short 50 minutes we were there listening intently to the choir. At the end of what I’m sure was beautiful choir music walked out of that auditorium better friends than eer and I walked out that day having laughed harder than I had in weeks.

Big, green posters littering the walls of every portion of the school telling boys that they better ask to the dance, that “Homecoming is the Bee’s Knees” with a cute little picture of a bee in a suit and everyone was talking about whether or not they were going to go, or who had asked them. The gossip was spreading through the school like a bacteria, infecting each girl who hadn’t been asked yet as they watched their friends pick out their dress and answer in cute clever ways. I had resigned myself that I wasn’t going to go and so had my best friend Rylie but like any teenage girls the hope was still burning within us. We scoped out prospective dates sitting at our locker every day. Pointing and giggling as each cute guy passed by. Trying to brainwash them telepathically into asking us out. Little did we know we would both be asked that night in ridiculously clever ways. I had returned home that night to a giant poster plastered to my wall. It’s black lettering shouting out to be against its white backdrop. This message from a boy asking me to go with him. I bounced into school the next day excited to tell my story and plan what we would do in retaliation. I soon discovered Rylie had been asked that same night, and by a guy she barely knew. This was war. We spent every break between classes brainstorming and trying to plan the best possible response. We settled on one. That night we  gathered our supplies and shoved the massive amounts of rainbow balloons into the back of my friend’s car. We began driving around in search of the house. Finally after 20 minutes of wandering we found it. Knocking on the door we were greeted by the smile of his mother. She let us in and led us to his room. His brown walls were bare and the only furniture in the room was a bed and a blue drumset, set off in the corner. We dumped bag after bag of balloons on the floor, the colors of each bag illuminating the room a little more. We set the poster with a giant “Yes” on the windowsill and left the room, closing the door. Then we took rolls of toilet paper and covered his entire doorframe with a gauzy, white packaging. This is how we left that night, with no idea of his reaction.

Matthew is one of the best people I have ever met. We never really hung out until about halfway through our senior year when fate or circumstance brought us together for a date. Having promised Garian that I would be his first date. I recruited Matthew to help me out. We  had to plan a makeshift date in less than 12 hours in order for me to keep my promise. We sat at the granite countertop in his kitchen throwing ideas at the wall in hopes that one would stick. I was ignoring my stomach’s aching, not wanting to be rude and ask for something to eat. My ache in my stomach begin to claw its way to my vocal cords to voice its displeasure with my lack of nutrients. It was in this moment that I caved to what I thought was rude and simply asked if he had anything I could eat.

“Thank goodness” he said as he pulled out a toaster and some bread “I was afraid to eat anything in front of you”. He looked at me with a big bright grin like he had just told the funniest joke in the world. His teddy bear like cheeks showing his dimples and his whole body giggled as he started to laugh. His laugh was contagious and I couldn't

help the chuckle that escaped my lips as we proceeded to eat the entire loaf as toast. Delicious, delicious toast. Before we knew it the majority of his kitchen was covered in all kinds of breakfast food, from purple jams to orange juice his kitchen had never been so colorful. Between bites of toast and sips of orange juice we laughed and planned this makeshift date in record time, my stomach moaning from laughter and having been fed. From that moment on we were near inseparable.

It was always the four of us. Sitting in Matt’s basement. It’s white walls covered in pictures of temples and Christ, courtesy of Matt’s mother. Every night was a collection of faces. Each night different but almost always those 3, consistent smiles shining through the darkness of the basement brighter than the blue glow of the TV screen. As time passed more faces were added to that brightness. Each smile a reminder of the love around me. Mckay, Austin, Alex, Tiffany, Madelyn, Tyler. Brought together in that mansion of a house. Every day Matt’s car would be outside each of our houses. It’s low rumble a comfort in winter. It’s blasting music a party anthem in the heat. Celebrating the good. Coming together to fix the hardships. Sharing scriptures and testimonies. Crying together, laughing together. 

We were bandits, we were adventurers, we were missionaries and we were friends. It was one of those friendships that just happened and until you look back you had no idea it would change your life. We were slowly approaching the day Matt would go off to college and none of us knew what was going to happen. The night before he left we all sat in his basement. So many people were there but as the night progressed people kept leaving. The night dragged on and it was starting to get late. I looked around me and realized it was just the four of us now, Matt, Rylie, Garian and me, sitting in that basement just like we used to. We decided to go for a drive so we piled into Matt’s car and began to drive. The music was its classic party anthem, the gray leather seats of his van squeaking as each of made even the slightest move. We were laughing and smiling. We found ourselves at the Y parking lot. The music began to mellow down and conversation got deeper. Matt started to talk about how he was afraid to leave. And we all listened. Then one by one we each gave our best advice, sharing a story from the Book of Mormon or our own personal experiences in life. I can only remember one story that was told. Garian said “it was a good day to be good” a saying that quickly became our slogan. In the following months this slogan kept me going. I don’t remember what stories were told that night, but I do remember I have never been so grateful in my entire life. 

Checkmate

“You don’t have any kids?” he questioned me with a hint of sarcastic surprise in his voice. Followed closely by “and come to think of it, you don’t even have any grandkids!” I couldn’t suppress the laughter that was bubbling inside of me and it began to slip out as I tried to remain focused and serious.

Then the first match ended almost before it began. I should have seen it coming. The first pawn of mine that was taken resulted in check-mate. So as suddenly as we started it was over. I don’t take losing easily and wasn’t going to let that happen again, despite my lack of experience in playing chess, compared to the 72 year old retired English teacher with an afro that was sitting across from me. 

The pieces were quickly retest which wasn’t hard considering the brevity of the first match. The board was then rotated and play continued. Things were different this time. Play progressed, a queen was captured, castles consumed, knights knocked out, and bishops bagged until finally I had his king trapped with no means of escape. My cunning and daring strategy had somehow outwitted the years of experience that guided the pieces opposite of mine.

Anyone else observing this scene would probably have difficulty believing their eyes. Here is an old man playing chess, which isn’t a surprise, but the fact that his opponent was barely a third of his age. Not a common occurrence especially for someone my age to be there by choice and not out of obligation or any other ulterior motives. I am old enough to be his grandson, and if I were common to my generation I would expect to mercilessly distract by my phone and other outside forces. This was different though. I had the weekend from work, and I hadn’t seen one of my best friends in quick a while, and decided to make the quick trip to pay him a visit.

From an outsider’s perspective we had very little in common at all, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Despite the many years that separated us we got along great. Had we been born in the same decade we would have been inseparable, but we weren’t going to let that stop us. We both had the same sarcastic and ridiculous sense of humor, loved music and played the guitar, and liked to make fun of each other and others. Despite our physical age differences, our minds are both about the age of 11, which makes things almost too fun at times.

Once upon a time we were both working janitorial on weeknights cleaning the offices at a truck depot. It was probably the nastiest job that I have ever had. Especially the bathrooms, which were at times tainted by trucker blowouts. He loved to tell me not to put things in my mouth, as if I were the one that was 2 years old. One night he had me put new urinal cakes in the men’s bathroom. He had me three and looked at me very sternly and said, “These aren’t Altoids, SO don’t put them in your mouth, cause they will take your breath away!” This was followed by both of us bursting into laughter.

The only thing that made cleaning bearable, and the only reason I was even there was because we had so much fun together. One night my “supervisor/boss” strategically hid himself in one of the back offices that I always got around to vacuuming last. As I opened the door I found a dirty rag flying at my face, and heard an unearthly yell. Needless to say I was quite startled and once I had my wits about be I found the old man literally rolling around on the dirty carpet with short bursts of giggling escaping at sporadic intervals. 

This is only one example of the many adventures that shaped and forged this unlikely friendship. Despite all of the fun and practical jokes, there were times when we would discuss more serious in an often light hearted way, but knowing that deep down we both recognized the true importance of these more heavy matters. It is also said that those that work and serve together develop some of the strongest bonds of friendship. There we many experiences together serving some widowed women and sick seniors that lived in our area in various ways. Not only was he a good friend, but a great example as well. There is more to life than just fun and games all the time.

As with most friendships time and circumstance would take us far from each other. Even with the advancements in modern communication, we would only occasionally talk to each other. However whenever circumstances and time would permit, we would make plans to go get a cheap senior discounted meal at a fast food restaurant, or for the first time, a friendly and competitive match of chess. Either way, whenever we would get together it was awesome because we both would be practically the same person that we were the previous time. It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks and when you’re as hard headed as me, change is slow, painful and far between. I am always looking forward to the time that we get together. I also start to feel a bit older too when, we get to reminisce about the many good times that we have had in the past.

My mom would always tell me when I was growing up that friends would come and go but family is the only thing that will last. While she was right about basically everything including this there is one exception. Every other friend that I’ve had growing up until now that has been relatively close to my age has moved on for some reason or another. Marriage, graduating, military, and careers all seem to pull those friends of mine from my life. However I can truly say that I’ve had one friend that despite distance and changes in my life has always been there, and can without a doubt make me laugh. I don’t even want to think about the time that will come when he literally won’t be around anymore. At any rate before I know it I’ll be the one on the experienced side of the chess board, reliving my younger years with some punk kind.

Learning From Friends

As a young men’s leader working with the priests I have come to understand how essential it is to be a captivating speaker. Sixteen to eighteen year old boys do not listen unless they have a reason to, this is why speaking with confidence and power is so important.

I have learned a great deal about being a captivating speaker from a great friend whom I serve with. When speaking to the young men, be it in priests quorum, on camping trips or even just while do service, he constantly lures them in by the way he says things. He is a fire fighter by trade so I wouldn't set his vocabulary against someone like Elder Maxwell’s, but yet the things he says are profound, in a very simple way.  Yes, his dialogue is important but what differentiates him from others, is the conviction and power with which he speaks.

He wants those boys to succeed and when he speaks you can feel it. When he bears his testimony, or gives a lesson he puts everything that he has into what he says, in hopes that it will be the thing they needed to hear to keep their testimonies strong, or even bring remind them of truths that they once knew. I have seen him bear testimony on many occasions but yet every time I learn something new. It could be his profound use of diction

or his ability to relate with others easily but when it comes down to it, when he speaks others listen and are edified from doing so.