tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3193051508933511187.post6514971983076030219..comments2023-09-28T08:04:28.949-06:00Comments on Literary Mormonism: 1343 North, Dreamland USA (Personal Essay Draft 2) Gideonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13328578010572353558noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3193051508933511187.post-2254505854003250932014-11-10T09:18:57.983-07:002014-11-10T09:18:57.983-07:00I like this version better, it seems more real. Li...I like this version better, it seems more real. Like the memories are memories and not just a painting on a wall. I also like how you described your mother, constantly working hard and willing to make you gingersnaps as a child. I could really feel the family.Tori Fawsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14491290460688365087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3193051508933511187.post-21968869931981282492014-11-10T08:43:12.808-07:002014-11-10T08:43:12.808-07:00I like how you start your essay this time as an ad...I like how you start your essay this time as an adult looking back on your childhood home, fully realizing its great impact on your life. The element of nostalgia in your writing is very relatable and your description (such as the "floral pattern") made the scene feel real. Your connection to Lehi's vision is cool but maybe would be more effective if your didn't use all questions.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05755442322785665223noreply@blogger.com